One of the sociological terms which is slowly increasing in popularity, especially in very international contexts, is the idea of being a third culture kid or individual (TCK). So the real question is, what does that even mean? Merriam Webster defines third culture as the mixed identity that a child takes on which is a product of their parent’s culture and the culture of the place(s) they were raised. I would also argue that the term applies to people who may have moved internationally as adults one or multiple times, therefore complicating their own cultural identity. All of this means that these people’s sense of national and cultural identity is far more complex than many times what even they themselves are able to comprehend.
What does this lead to? Often the toughest thing that third culture kids deal with is the lack of understanding towards who they are, depending on the context. The possibility of spending our whole lives in international environments where everybody has multiple passports and speaks many languages, thereby allowing you and your uniqueness to be understood sounds amazing but is highly unlikely. Most people will ask you where you’re from and expect you to fit every stereotype they have of people from that country, and they’re not ready for a 5 minute speech about all the places you and/or your family have lived. SO if you have a hard time finding a simple answer to that question which completely fits who you are, you’re most likely a third culture kid/individual.
This lack of understanding can happen both inside and outside of the family system. The cultural clash one lives when their parents are from one or two different places than where they grew up can be tough to overcome. Third culture kids can often find themselves in conflict with parents due to the different lifestyle they are living as compared to what their parents knew in their home countries. This can come up as things that are as minimal as children not being used to having to individually hug and greet every person in the room when entering a social situation to strict rules around dating and sexuality. Language barriers between parents and children raised in linguistically different places can also put a major strain on these relationships. Often, third culture kids either do not speak their parent's native tongue or find themselves complicated by the intrincaseis of this language they are less familiar with an unable to communicate their true self in this other tongue.
Another tough aspect of being a third culture kid is the feeling of never really having a home. Many times these people find that when in the country they consider “home” they have intense ideological and cultural differences with the majority of the people, therefore cultivating a sense of alienation in them. Personally I’ve often felt too Argentine to be completely U.S. American, and also too U.S. American to be completely Argentine. Realities like this are so common and learning that I was not alone, and that in fact there is a huge community of Third Culture Individuals like me was extremely reassuring.
What’s great about third culture kids? Just as with any identity, one’s uniqueness is one’s superpower. The ability to comprehend multiculturality that a third culture kid has is invaluable when living and working in the modern world. Third culture kids are culturally sensitive and thus usually able to connect with a variety of people, they often have multiple languages and therefore completely different ways of thinking, and usually they’re great at adapting and dealing with change as many have often moved and had to start over one or multiple times. This creativity that third culture kids have cultivated due to their different and interesting experiences provides an expansion of the mind most people would envy, and we therefore need to celebrate!
How could my third culture identity come up in the therapy room? Our cultural identity is a huge portion of who we are as people, and therefore can explain many aspects of our behavior. The way we think, connect with others, express ourselves, etc. are all products of our cultural background and what we lived growing up. Because the grand majority of people’s cultural background is comparatively more simple, the intersection of culture and mental health is not a major priority for most. I would argue that for third culture kids this can be extremely important to look at and something that is usually only truly understood by therapists who are also third culture individuals. Feeling understood is of utmost importance for a therapeutic relationship and embarking on a therapeutic journey with someone who does not understand nor have they had an experience similar to yours is extremely difficult.
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